Thinking of 2023 has me completely re-evaluating.
Each year, for the past 10 years (yes TEN!), I have set a “My One Word.”
This year I chose to pass. My intention is to set one on my 40th birthday, in February, but then again, I might not.
I have seen countless lists over the years with people (including myself), listing out all the things they are so proud of from the prior year. This, a lovely pat on the back and an “I’m doing great, and did all the things this past year that I wanted…..” and they swim into the New Year.
I realized just a week ago that for the first time in my life, I am not part of that crew.
In fact, on a recent George and Jess podcast episode, the actual title was, “Where were you last year at this time?
I took a screenshot, then circled the title.
I kept coming back to the question and when I got quiet and honest with myself, the answer looked like this,
Further than this year. Not only did I not move forward, but in some ways I moved drastically backwards.just me
Okay, okay, I know – too harsh.
So I revisited that a little and came to the conclusion about two things:
- That statement is (mostly) true, BUT
- Many of the reasons I stayed stagnant and even moved backwards were simply building blocks for what’s ahead.
As I’ll share soon, my main prerogative for 2023 is to rebuild. So if there is rebuilding, then that also means something began falling apart.
And that’s where I think the core of 2022 lies for me.
Some things fell apart that I never saw coming.
And other things fell apart that I, in fact, planned for in order to rebuild.
But either way, 2023 is a rebuilding year.
It has to be.
2023: New Year, Re (new)Ed Growth
There it is, exactly what I’m striving for in 2023. This is not a GOAL, but rather an intention. In case you’re interested in seeing the difference, I love this from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (where I went!)
When I used to blog my personal and business goals each year through agutsygirl.com, they looked like THIS and people would always ask me to list them out like that so they could “steal a few.”
I’m sharing that to say – I hope something on my list resonates with you for your own life. And if it does, change it for you as necessary and adopt for the New Year.
I have been terrible this past year around setting boundaries in all areas of my life. A lack of black and white creates too many shades of gray which I am no longer able to decipher in my life.
Furthermore, the lack of boundary setting has given too many people interjections in places where they don’t belong.
Subliminal, cryptic, passive-agressive – all of it, they fall in the gray and the gray proved to be far too dark for me in 2022.
Here are some boundaries I’m setting:
Limit the kid’s pictures online
I’m only detailing this one because it’s that important to me.
Yes, this one seems strange. To you and to me, but I’ve come to the point in my life where it needs to happen.
It’s not up for discussion whether showing your children online is “right” or “wrong” because I don’t believe there is an answer.
But here’s why it has to be a boundary for me —
I am tired of constantly having to defend me and our life with “Black children;” how I raise them, what I read to them, why I can’t get the hair thing down, and on and on and on.
Because I have finally realized that if a stranger’s (or basic acquaintance’s) opinions and thoughts don’t matter to me, then why would I subject myself to it any longer?
If I wouldn’t want someone to reach out about my child’s weight or shape of their eyes, the way they talk or anything else, then WHY would I want them to reach out about any other physical feature? (By the way, I don’t do this to people with their children.)
They are the most precious ever to Ryan and me in our lives, so if this all means I keep them tighter to the vest, then so be it.
- The Bar (NOT the bar in general, but The Bar on Main that we own)
- The bar – the actual bar; any of them
- Draining people
Everything I’m currently rebuilding is already on its way.
It has been only during these past few weeks of December that I’ve truly embraced this word, and all the things I want it to mean.
- Relationships – so many to do this with, but here’s what I’ll say — there are people who would go to the ends of the Earth for me. Actions will always trump words. Repair THOSE – forget the rest.
- Microbiome – I’m not saying mine isn’t currently healthy 🙂 I know because I tested with my Viome. However, it is NOT the best ever and that’s due to a massive shift in how I eat and how I drink since moved back to the homeskillet Minnesota a few years back.
- Confidence in all areas of my life.
Here’s one thing I learned in 2022 — you can do less and it will be better.
The hustle culture makes me want to puke.
Do less, better.2023
- A Gutsy Girl will launch no brand new products. We will only make current products even better and elevate the supplement line with new offerings.
- Focus on Thyme on Main in brand new ways
- Boost existing relationships – one incredible thing about 2022 is that I found my TRIBE! And now I just want to grow these relationships to the nth degree. Ladies, if you’re reading this, you know who you are.
TLP = The Little Prince
Gosh, I’ve been waiting to share about this book since the second I got done reading it.
This is my final intention, major intention, for 2023 (and beyond!)
…..to live like the teachings and preaching in The Little Prince. (<- go buy yourself a copy asap)
Where the Grass is Green
For the longest time, I, like most of you, had a version of this on repeat…..
…..where the grass is greener.
And then, it turned to,
The grass is greener where you water it.
Those two ideas are so vastly different.
The former says, “somewhere, somehow with someone everything must be so much better.”
And the later says, “I have everything right here in front of me. Let’s nourish it.”
So one day very recently, this popped into my head,
It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others.A. de Saint-Exupery
If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.
I couldn’t get it out of my head, and I didn’t understand why, but I knew exactly where it came from.
In fact, this was part of the biggest lesson I learned in 2018.
And so, I thought, let’s explore that more. Who said it? Who exactly is Piccolo Principe + A. de Saint-Exupery?
And that’s where I stumbled upon the full book, The Little Prince.
I got myself a library card (yes, first time since moving back) and went to the library to get the book.
I read the entire thing in one day (it’s short, also in the “children’s” section of the library), and was instantly in love.
In fact, I then returned the book and purchased it so I could start marking it all up.
From the book, here are the final pieces I want to share to END this post and to END 2022.
- “That is the hardest thing of all. It is much harder to judge yourself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself, it is because you are truly a wise man.” – p. 32
- “The only things you learn are the things you tame.” (tame – to create ties) – p. 60
- “Language is the source of misunderstandings.” – p. 60
And last, but not least – in addition to #1 above – my most favorite line in the book….
One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.A. de Saint-Exupery
I may or may not be getting a new tattoo — SORRY, Mom!
2022 has definitely been one of my most difficult years, despite the smiles and energy I give the world.
It’s funny to me how we all simply judge the book by its cover. But I learned that the cover is deceiving. Like the marketing on packaged foods (colors, bright, and BS!), it’s meaningless unless you peel back all the layers to get to the bottom.
And when it comes to other people, we simply cannot do this because we don’t ever know a full story.
But here’s the thing, sometimes it takes a major unraveling in order to see life in a new light. My tattoo, “Everything is beautiful in its time” has challenged me beyond belief this past year, but once again, I’m starting to see its truth.
And because of my never-ending strong convictions for life, love, and everything in between, I know that life is just as it should be.
See you soon, 2023.
Oh, p.s. I’m desiring more space for personal writing here. So I’ll make that space available. I mean, how else I’m going to write my book, A Thyme for Milk and Honey. 🙂
p.s.s. One of those new Tribe members gifted me this yesterday. I chose my tree color based on these words (ironically, it’s Amethyst, which is also my birthstone): contentment, strength, peace, great stone for meditation, enhances intuition, clarity, understanding. See why I chose it?