How have we already arrived at Kindergarten round-up?

Well, like the mess that I am, all the tears came pouring out when Kate and Toby’s new baby, Jack was born.

If you don’t watch This is Us (first of all, I’m sorry — ha), in the trailer for the episode, “Don’t Take My Sunshine Away” you can see that little, tiny baby.

So just how big was Jack was he was (very) prematurely born?

2.5 pounds.

My heart literally couldn’t stand it at first. I understood where Kate was coming from — wanting to sing to him and being there in her perfect motherly ways.

But I also understood where Toby was coming from — having a hard time watching little Jack, who was unable to cry and constantly being poked and prodded, with tubes and attachments to him 24/7.


Because that was Samarah — exactly. She was born just under 2.5 pounds. Had I been there in the beginning, I would have been both Kate and Toby. Ryan likely would have only been Kate.

But because I was not there, the episode — watching how it all played out in the early days — hit me really hard.

Kindergarten Round-Up

And last night, Ryan and I took Samarah to Kindergarten Round-Up. Can it even be real?

I’ve always said that the day Samarah goes to Kindergarten will be hard for me because for so long she was the baby I waited for and for so many years now I’ve held her tightly in that same space.

It’s so hard to believe that she was once as little as tiny Jack; hard to comprehend for me even because I didn’t meet her until she was a little over 5 pounds and even at that, felt like just a little peanut to me.

Samarah told me yesterday morning before school that she wanted to bring her Unicorn and hold my hand at Kindergarten Round-Up. I told her we would be there, but she’d have to go with all the other children and teachers while mommy and daddy stayed with the other mommies and daddies.

She almost didn’t let me go when it was time for her to leave us, but I placed her hand into another little girl’s hand — and off she went.

When the hour was over, she wanted to take all these pictures because she’s genuinely excited about school and about starting Kindergarten in some months from now.

There is no way to explain the gratitude you feel for those doctors and nurses in the NICU who go above and beyond to make sure these preemies turn out just right.

Her life was one of a million little miracles. Someday she’ll know them all. For now, she’s just Kindergarten Round-Up ready.

Join the magic and chaos.



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