Happy Birthday, Samarah {This is Seven}.

Stop. Right. There. How? How are you already seven?

Today I write my seventh birthday post for you, Angel Baby.

So let’s get right to it.

Dear Samarah,

Yesterday I had some pictures taken with the incredible Makayla. While I was in her studio, I noticed the prettiest BOHO-style rainbow hanging on the wall.

When I asked her about it, she said she got it for a Rainbow Baby photoshoot.

And that’s exactly what I thought when I saw it. Rainbow baby – you – my own rainbow baby.

Rainbow Baby

The actual definition of a rainbow baby is a child born to a family who has previously lost a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth or death during infancy. 

So, by any accurate definition, you are not truly a rainbow baby.

And yet you are.

After trying for years to have a biological baby and then losing the two that had successfully transferred via a final (traumatic) IVF cycle, I wasn’t so sure children would be part of our daily lives.

Like some sort of miracle, you came next.

Our rainbow baby.

And I literally, actually literally, have never stopped thanking God for that miracle.

Happy Birthday, Samarah {This is Seven}

And now you’re seven.

You fill your life with creative endeavors and adventures. And you can make something out of anything; your imagination runs wild constantly.

Some of your favorite things to do include:

  • Caring for your babies, dolls, and stuffed animals
  • Feeding said babies, dolls, and stuffed animals with plates, cups, napkins, and anything else you can find
  • Coming up with creative outfits
  • “Science” projects (you call them inventions)
  • Swim
  • Go on the boat, tubing, and anything else that has to do with water
  • Cook and bake on your own terms
  • Eat cake, ice cream, Grandma Judy’s rice pudding, Grandma Nancy’s chocolate chip cookies, and Lush Cakes chocolate almond croissants (yes, we do call you “Junk Food Josie”)
  • Sing, dance, and play make believe with Isaiah and Amiya
  • Play with family and friends
  • Be you, perfectly!

So far, you’ve lost two teeth, and you’re excited because a third is wiggling.

It’s so hard to believe how big you are now, considering the first time I knew you existed they told me, “The doctor’s didn’t think she would live, but this past weekend she made a miraculous turnaround and now needs somewhere to go.”

And to us you came.

Seeing you in your llama drama, fun-loving, chaotic world is just plain awesome.

Anyways, here is how I ended my day – with some heavy-duty Wikipedia research (insert sarcasm). When I put in “Rainbow Baby,” here is what I found,

These subsequent pregnancies can bring “strong feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even fear” but also “immense joy, reflection, healing, and mixed emotions”.

– good old Wikipedia

Oh good Lord did this ever hit me hard, Baby girl. Maybe having you while you were still in foster care was my “pregnancy.” Because the Lord only knows about the mixture of emotions that completely and erratically took over my life.

So yes, yes you are totally my rainbow baby in a million and seven ways.

Happy 7th birthday, Angel Baby.

Join the magic and chaos.

Xox,

SKH

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