I’ll finally share why I stopped posting photos of my kid on social media.

At the end of 2022, I wrote a post on this website called, 2023 {boundaries, rebuild, growth, TLP}.

And after I wrote it, not only did I get a ton of why questions around the topic, but for many who have followed our foster-adoption journey and stories for years they have also wondered, “Why now?” Along with the questions have also come the genuine, “I miss seeing your kids online.” (To be honest, this is mostly through my other platform A Gutsy Girl.

So, I figured I would detail why I stopped posting photos of the children on social media.

Why I Stopped Posting Photos of My Kid on Social Media

Why I Stopped Posting Photos of My Children on Social Media athymeformilkandhoney.com #socialmedia

In the beginning, I was much younger. I know, I know – shocking.

Truthfully, I saw zero harm and no problem with sharing our story, their pictures, all of it.

In fact, I loved it and those stories and images won’t be removed from here or anywhere.

But three main things stood out to me during the past year that lead to this decision:

  1. MY social is not THEIRS. When I posted images of other people’s children, I always asked for permission from parents. Because it was always important to me. And yet, I forgot that maybe my own children would not want their images shared.
  2. The world is a scary place. Yes, I do believe most people are good at heart. And yes, I do believe that most things are innocent. But I don’t need the added element of my kids everywhere, online, 24/7 because I WANT TO SHARE something. For me, it started to feel very selfish.

And number 3?

Well, this is one that will likely surprise many, but they are facts and facts which I could no longer ignore. And truth be told, it was this number that had me cut that social media cord in an instant.

My Kids Don’t Look Like Me

Something I have observed along the way with adopting children of a different race is that in the beginning, when they were babies, it was all, “So cute.”

Sure, Ryan and I still got alllllll the questions when they were babies, but for the most part it was harmless.

These three, cute, little babies that we loved and adored and were never anything but our own.

But as they have gotten older, every. single. time I posted an image of them someone felt the need to publicly or privately message me:

  • You really need to fix their hair.
  • The girls are going to resent you someday for not caring about their hair.
  • Why do you let your kids do xyz?
  • Is there a reason why you adopted African American children vs ones that look like you and your husband?

The list goes on. And on. And on. (Comments largely due to those main topics.)

And here’s the thing — I can take the judgement because I know the situations – all of them; all 500 of them.

But for someone, anyone, to comment on our differences killed me inside a little more each day.

The Hair

When I was growing up, I never brushed my hair. And my mom refused to fight that battle with me. A rats nest it was, but I would go to school like that.

There wasn’t Facebook back then and even if there was, my mom and dad were not the type of people who would have ever posted our pictures. No, not even for the #humblebrag.

But even still, no one called my mom to tell her about my hair or any odd behaviors or anything else about my physical features or personality.

And yet, I get this all the time.

It’s exhausting.

beach babies athymeformilkandhoney.com

So I Chose to Remove It

And so I chose to remove it all.

It’s been almost 4 months, and I have felt far more peace and calm. I have more convictions than ever about never sharing my kids online until/if they are ever wanting me to.

They will only ever pop up on Snapchat with CLOSE family and friends. And when they pop up there, they know it and want to do something silly to send to so-and-so (i.e. Send this to Mikey, mama or Let’s show Kayla our new dance or even Can you see if Auntie Kimmie likes my new hair?!)

Our personal network; family and friends get to be with them, spend time with them, and enjoy them for who they are NOT perceptions of what anyone thinks they are or should be.

I will always keep them tight to my vest because they are worth it.

Join the magic and chaos.



4 Responses

  1. That’s unfortunate that people are asking you the obvious and it’s about race. They’re children for for god sake. However, culturally there are differences in hair type. And yes you probably hear it all the time. But the response can’t be compared to your hair experience. The two are culturally different. Fix the hair fix the problem.

    My nieces and nephews are mixed and like my sister she had to learn. And she did and she would take them in and get their hair washed, conditioned, dried etc… braided, cornrolled etc…

    It’s part of their African American culture, embrace it.

    • Hi Jen – Yes, I hear you. But again, you’re missing the point for why I don’t show them on social (with regards to the hair). For my girls the issues are more complex than “mama who just doesn’t embrace it and/or girls who are able to understand why we need to “fix it.” If people only knew how much time, money, and energy we have all spent on hair appointments, hair, products, conversations, etc, etc the basic comments of “fix the hair fix the problem” wouldn’t be necessary.

  2. Hi Sarah. I just wanted to take a moment to express my appreciation for you and your work on A Gutsy Girl. I’m a huge fan! I also wanted to say that I loved seeing pictures of your children. It’s unfortunate that some people feel the need to make unwarranted and unnecessary comments about them. When I saw your pictures, all I saw was a loving family with happy children. I wish everyone could see things that way.
    I hope you and your family are doing well.

    • Thank you so much, Vanessa! I loved hearing from you and am grateful for people exactly like you 🙂 Xox

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